"Write it down in a notebook and we will talk about it in the car"

 

One of Ryan's notebooks that he kept in college.

  I grew up in a family of writers - not professional writers - just a family that valued putting pen to paper.  My mom kept a journal of every vacation that she and my dad took.  In later years she has written and co-written four books about growing up in Rush, AR and has a fifth book in the works.  My paternal grandmother, Granny Ott, wrote down everything and I mean everything.  We kids were encouraged to write.  We were given diaries and journals as gifts and while many of my first diaries were childish,  I loved to write down my thoughts.

   One thing I have learned from journaling is this; it will keep you from shooting your mouth off when you should keep it closed.  I have written about my anger, my fears, and worries or even just small misunderstandings.  I get it out of my system.  Later I go back and reread it. Sometimes it seems that whatever has upset me is so silly and I am glad that I never talked to anyone about it.  Other times the feelings are still there and I might feel compelled to talk to the person about it.  I haven't always adhered to my own advice to write things down before acting but lately I am trying to do so.

   When my kids were growing up I kept two small spiral notebooks in my purse.  If we were in a public  setting and they wanted to talk about something or someone I would hand them their notebook and a pen and say, "Write it in your notebook and we will talk about it in the car."  It seems like this most often happened at church.  They would scribble away in their notebooks and on the drive home and during our lunch I would listen to what was on their minds.  It has always been a running joke with us if we are out in public and see something "strange."  We will laugh and say, "Write it down in your notebook and we will talk about it in the car."

   My kids grew up to journal. I don't know if it was due to the spiral notebooks or just genetic.  Misty writes beautiful, poignant, and also humorous blogs.  Ryan journaled on his laptop.  After he passed away it was both comforting and troubling to read his thoughts. While it seemed like an invasion of his privacy it was heartwarming to find his thoughts on his love for his family.  Ryan was a songwriter and he kept notes about ideas and thoughts.  I still have a few of the kids spiral notebooks and they are important to me.  I encourage everyone to journal.  You never know when those journals will become something invaluable to you.

   Several years ago I felt compelled to blog.  I enjoyed sharing random thoughts with others.  It didn't become personal until we lost Ryan.  For a year or more I poured my grief out publicly.  I had to have an outlet.  Many grieving families found me through my blogs and we shared our grief and gave support to each other.  I lost "friends" over my grief blogs; "too depressing,"  "go to counseling."  But this I know - it's easy to be critical behind the safety of the internet.  In a face to face situation it's not so easy and there are some who should have "written their thoughts down in a notebook." 

   I am trying to return to more light hearted blogs. I have had a sudden interest in some of my older blogs about rural life and growing up country.  I think we are living in a time of fear and uncertainty.  Reading blogs about the "good ol' days" takes us back to a time when life wasn't so worrisome.

   A few of my friends have begun their own blogs.  I encourage them to write and I am anxious to read their stories.  I think it would be fun to pick a neighborhood - any neighborhood - and go door to door and ask them to tell you their favorite story.  What wonderful blogs or even a small book that would make.

   I leave you with this.  Don't be afraid to write.  Once the words start they will flow easily.