Valentines Day is supposed to be a day which celebrates love and affection between intimate companions. Candy, flowers, and cards have been the traditional way of expressing our love.
When I was a kid my Dad would buy my Mom a big heart box of candy and a mushy card. That was typical 50s and 60s. The women didn't buy a gift for the men. It was a day for the ladies. As times changed it became an exchange of gifts between men and women - maybe a tie or a bottle of cologne for the guy, but it was still a thoughtful, intimate gift between a couple.
When I was in school, elementary kids liked Valentines Day because it was fun to exchange the little dime store cards with their classmates. We would bring a brown (or sometimes if we were lucky) a white paper sack to school. We would cut, color and glue hearts on them, neatly print our names, and tape them to the chalk rail in anticipation of the class Valentines party. On the night before the party we would open our valentines and read the verses, trying to decide which ones to give our classmates. We didn't have the Disney Themed cards, just animals and cupids. Our moms made us give everyone in our "room" a valentine, whether we wanted to or not. We weren't allowed to hurt anyone's feelings, but I was a cautious valentine giver. I would read the sayings and make sure that no boy thought I had a crush on him. We would write our names on the backs of the cards and the recipients' name on the envelope then we would place them in those decorated paper sacks. It was so exciting to see those sacks start to bulge with cards. When the designated hour arrived our moms (called room mothers back then) would show up with the cookies, cupcakes, and brownies. We would eat and open our cards. My how times have changed!
Today I watched as junior high students received balloon bouquets (some got more than one), with 6 packs of sodas and bags of chips attached, some had stuffed animals, some flowers; I even saw a huge heart shaped pillow tied to a bunch of balloons. I've seen 7th and 8th graders with bouquets of roses (I've had very few in my life). I kept thinking to myself that these are kids too young to work so parents must be paying for all this stuff. Why? What happened to plain old card exchanges? I had one 8th grade student who said to me "Nobody loves me." I told her that wasn't true. I had seen her with a balloon bouquet earlier. She said, "But those were just from my Dad." How sad is that? She wanted some balloons and flowers from a boy I guess. Her dad had taken the time and spent the money for her Valentines gift and that wasn't enough. And it's not just her, there are so many more with similar experiences. I left school feeling kind of aggravated and sad that this is what Valentines Day has become. It just put me in a bad frame of mind.
When I got home I went on facebook and saw the many Happy Valentines Day posts and pictures of roses, and candy received by my friends. I was still in my bad frame of mind when I scrolled down and saw a picture that shook me to my core. One of my friends, and I pray that she doesn't mind me writing this, had posted a picture of a necklace. A necklace that her late husband and bought her shortly before he passed away. It had an inscription but I couldn't read all of it. But that didn't matter. What mattered was that he had loved her enough to buy the necklace and have it inscribed because he knew he wouldn't be here this Valentines Day. Folks, that's what Valentines Day is. There are very few people that can truly know the depth of our spouses love. I hurt for her loss but I know that when she looks at that necklace she feels his love for her.
Happy Valentines Day.
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