Wandering and Wondering

   I dream often and vividly - this appears to be a genetic trait.  My mom and my daughter dream often too.  In my dreams I can feel, taste, touch, smell and my dreams are always in color.  A  professor, from back in my college days, told our class that dreams are the body just running the circuits in our brain as we sleep.  He said the dreams are just little blips in the circuitry of our brain.  He explained that many of our dreams are things we have subconsciously seen or heard.  The logical side of my brain wants to believe that but the creative side of my brain tells me there is more to my dreams than circuitry.

   
    I had a dream a couple of nights ago that I can't stop thinking about.  I was lost in an airport - inside of a huge warehouse in the airport.  This warehouse held racks and racks of  luggage.  I was confused. "Were this many pieces of luggage left behind by travelers?"  There were fork lift drivers hauling pallets of luggage but they didn't seem to be going out to the tarmac to load the luggage on the plane.  I was lost.  I needed to find the ticket counter so I would stop the fork lift drivers to ask directions but none of them spoke English.  No one could understand me.  Finally a man pointed and I went in that direction.  When I got to the "ticket counter" it looked like a bank teller counter.  It was made of marble and there was only one woman behind the counter.  She asked for my ticket and then tried to take my carry on.  I told her I wasn't checking the bag (there was no visible scale or tags anyway).  She said that I had to give her my bag and tried to physically take it from me. We began a tug of war that ended only when I woke up.

    Having spent the past couple of days mulling this over I have "analyzed" this dream.  I believe that the luggage in the warehouse represents the children that have passed away.  The fork lift drivers were taking more "children" to Heaven.  The fact that no one spoke my language represents those who have distanced themselves from me because they don't know what to say or how to help me in my grief.  My carry on bag was Ryan and the ticket agent was trying to take him from me. I knew if she won that he would wind up in the warehouse of  "luggage."

   I am a science major but I am also a human and a grieving mother.  Since losing Ryan I have learned that sometimes I can't always mesh Science and human emotion.  One or the other is going to win out.  In this case I think my human emotion wins.....