♫Thank you for being a friend♫

   One of my friends gave me this Bravlet at my son, Ryan's, funeral.  I put it on that day and it has been on my wrist for at least some of each day since.  It's getting a little tarnished and loose around my wrist, but I continue to put it on every day.  I don't wear it because it says "be brave."  I wear it because it reminds me of that friend - that she cared enough about me to give me that bracelet.

    I've had a lot of reflection about friendship over this past year.  I have learned that you can have friends that you haven't seen in years but when you needed their strength and support, they were there.  I have a childhood friend that I haven't seen since May, 1973 but we have become reacquainted through Facebook over the past several years.  I was deeply touched when I opened a sympathy card from her and found a check and a book of stamps.  She knew that I would not feel like going to the post office to buy stamps for thank you cards.  That kind, sweet gesture brought tears to my eyes on that day.  One of my friends, who lives down the road, came immediately to my home when she heard of my loss. She knew that my computer had recently "fried" and she brought her laptop and MiFi box.  She knew that I needed to write an obituary and scan pictures for the service.  Later she bought me an infinity scarf that is the color of a red fox. She knew that Ryan loved foxes and she wanted me to have something I could wear and touch that reminded me of that.  Shortly after Ryan's funeral I opened my mailbox to find a package from a friend that I haven't seen in a long time, but we interact on Facebook.  I opened the package to find a Willow Tree "boy" angel and a long hand written, heart-felt letter. She has suffered a painful loss in her life and she understood my pain and grief. 

   My dearest childhood friend, who lives in Oklahoma, called me and just let me sob in the phone.  She didn't try to tell me that everything would be ok or that "time would heal my wounds."  She just held the phone and let me sob.  I knew she was there for me and that I could call her and sob into the phone anytime that I needed to.

   I have another friend , who is a former colleague, that has never stopped calling and texting to check on me.  She has left countless voicemails and texts that simply say, "I'm thinking of you."  Another friend and colleague, who also lost her son, has graded my papers, made my lesson plans, and done hours of school work for me because I wasn't able to.

   There are so many friends that went out of their way, interrupted their busy lives to be there for me.  When you are going through a heartbreaking loss, you find out just how kind and generous your friends are.  I could not have made it through the darkest days of my life had it not been for my friends.

   Through this grieving process, I have made new friends.  Many of Ryan's friends have become my friends too.  His loss hurt so many people and they have reached out to me in their time of grief. I also made a new friend who has become a pillar of strength for me, as well as a confidante.  A few weeks after Ryan's death, I received a letter from a lady that I didn't know.  It was several pages and handwritten.  The lady told me the story of the loss of her husband and step-son and how it had changed her life.  A few months later, this lady, became my grief counselor and I have been able to share with her things that I have not felt comfortable sharing with anyone else. 

   I hope that I can be a good friend to anyone who needs my friendship and support.  I feel such a debt of gratitude to those who have helped me get through my grief.  For now I would just like to say,  ♫Thank you for being a friend. ♫