Looks Can Be Deceiving

One of my colleagues posted this on Facebook today and it inspired me to blog.  I can relate to her.  I got married too young, only 17, and as 50% of all marriages in the US go, it didn't work out.  I found myself alone with 2 kids and I needed to find a way to send them to school.  But first, I needed to finish college myself.  I had taken classes off and on over the years and managed to get two years behind me.  I knew that I needed to return to college and earn a Bachelor's Degree - I wanted to have a piece of the American Dream.  I quit my 40 hour a week job, sold my house, and moved so that I could finish college.  It wasn't an easy decision and it wasn't made without a lot of thought.  I am fortunate that I had parents who supported my decision and helped me financially, but it was still a struggle.  Yes, I went to college on Federal PELL Grants - I was a single mother of 2 and received the maximum allotment.  In return, I took a full load of classes and even asked for the Registrar's approval to carry more than a full load so that I could get out of school quicker.  My parents bought my books, paid my lab fees, and paid off the loan on my car.  Even with all this it was not enough for me to make it.  I worked as a lab rat in the Science Building - the Head of the Science Department was an older fellow that felt sorry for me (I think).  He allowed me to work all sorts of weird hours around my classes, but I only earned minimum wage.  I took a second job on the weekends as a Walmart checker.  But with both jobs I was still way below the poverty level and I was urged by my adviser to seek assistance.  I cannot fully describe to you how low I felt when I walked in to the Social Services office.  The lady who helped me was very kind as she explained what I was "eligible" to receive.  I was paying a pretty heft rent and she told me that I qualified for housing assistance, help with my utilities and "if I would quit one of my jobs - food stamps.  I took the non-visible help.  Who, but my landlord and AP&L would know that I was getting help?  I could not bring myself to take the food stamps - that was too visible. One of my friends (I will call her S) and her little girl moved in with us.  She, too, was trying to finish college.  We struggled to survive - two families living in a 2 bedroom apartment.  There are only so many ways to get creative with Hamburger Helper.  Once we found some coupons for Papa John's Pizza in the trash can at the laundry mat and we felt like we had won the lottery.  We spaced them out because we feared they were stolen and we didn't want Papa John's to call the police.  To this day I can't bring myself to eat Papa John's pizza.  Our clothes got worn out.  I wore the same pair of jeans almost daily for 2 years.  We had a balcony with railings and we would hand wash our clothes and hang them over the balcony to dry because we didn't have the money to do the wash.  I sewed my underwear back together as it fell apart.  S and I would dream of they day that we could go to Victoria's Secret and by nice underwear.  We ran out of makeup but S's sister worked at the Clinique Counter at Dillards and she gave us samples.  We cut our own hair and shared clothes.  S also got a Bedazzler and we bedazzled every shirt and pair of jeans we owned to make them look different. One Christmas I sold my blood plasma as many times as the red cross would allow to get money to buy my gifts.  I could go on and on but my point is - we never looked poor, but we were poor as church mice.  We just got assistance that was non-visible. We both went on to graduate college and have spent many years having social security held out of our checks and I think we have repaid out debt.   I have been reading all these hateful posts on Facebook about people receiving aid.  We don't know their stories.  Many of those who have posted the hateful things are the very people who have gone through college on Federal PELL grants, low interest student loans, received WICK and other types of aid.  Please think before you judge others or slam the government programs that provide aid to those in need.  I know there are many that use the system as a way of life, but there are equally as many who only use it as a means to an end.
Respectfully, a "former" assistance recipient.